Missed Call

(Ring, ring, ring)

“This is Scott. Leave a message at the tone.”

(Beep)

“Hey Scott, this is Tim. Are you there? I’ll just give you a minute, in case you’re screening your calls…

“Cause I would screen my calls, if I were you. Actually, I do screen my calls, and I’m not you.

“So, you there?

“Ok, I guess you’re not. Anyway, you probably remember me from the last WCA meeting. I tried to talk with you afterwards but you had that meeting you were late for… I got your number from Tina. She’s in charge of all the paperwork for the meetings. I guess you volunteered for something or other a while back so she had your number... Hey, was it you that brought the greenbean casserole to that Thanksgiving picnic? I’ve been trying to find out who brought that, it was really good. Do you know Tina personally? I accidentally bumped into her while she was carrying a bunch of WCA folders. I saw your number while I was helping her pick up all the papers and I memorized it. If you could just keep this between you and me, that would be great. She’s kind of cute, and I’d hate to lose any future chances with her.

“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, I’ve figured it all out. I’m sure you’ve noticed how silver’s been doing in the market recently. It’s so totally being manipulated! That’s because the government’s buying it all up, only they don’t want the average Joe to know about it. They’ve been buying it all up, see, and then making it look like there’s still plenty to go around. They don’t want folks to know what they’re up to. But I’ve got them figured out. It’s the bullets. They’re melting all that silver and molding it into bullets to kill all us weres with.

“So I was thinking, with all your government connections, is there anything you can do about this? I don’t know where they’re hiding the bullets or anything. It’s not like they’d call me up on the phone and tell me something like that, like (continuing in a silly voice) ‘Hey Tim, this is the government. We’re keeping all the silver bullets in Roswell.’ (He chuckles). But you, you’ve got a foot on the inside. I figure if anybody can get to the bottom of this thing, it’s you. If you could just find out where they’ve got the bullets stored, we can formulate a plan. I’m sure we could get Hank and some of his friends to help us dispose of them.

“Anyhow, call me back when you get a chance. I wish I could have spoken to you about this in person... Wait a minute; I’m talking to your machine! Uh, do me a favor and erase this message after you’ve listened ok? Thanks. Actually, now that I think of it, DHS has probably picked up on this call…

“Shoot… I’d better go…”