"Hi. My name is Sean and I am a were-hyena."
[Group: "Hi, Sean!"]
"Life is tough. Wouldn't you agree?"
[Group: "Absolutely!"]
"I mean with the pressures of work, family, church, and the now constant worry if we are all going to be be employed next month because of the failing economy, life is frickin tough. And then on top of the normal stress of life you throw in the curse of ALPS and it's almost more than a middle aged man can handle. And then if that isn't enough now we got this Rev. Rile talking about internment camps."
"Maybe that's why this Craigs List posting was so disturbing to me. Check this out: 'Wanted Werewolf bite. My name is James and my life sucks. My parents treat me bad. They took my xbox 360 away for getting lousy a D in science. I need the strength of the werewolf to be able to leave this horrible situation. I hate my life. My dreams are full of darkness so I want my reality to be as dark. That is why I need your help. I have 500 dollars for the first werewolf to sink his or her fangs into me. P.S. The Cure Rules'"
"What is this nonsense? I don't get it. This kid must have real bad self esteem. I could see some emo shoegazer wanting to be a vampire. The media have portrayed vampires as suave and debonair. Not us Were's. We are always portrayed as greasy and pathetic waiting for death. Look at the movie Underworld. The vampires got Kate Beckinsdale in tight leather. The Were's got some greasy unbathed dudes. In American Werewolf in London the transformation is horrific and painful and then the guy gets shot. While that's not entirely reality, Emoboy doesn't know that."
"Even in Stephen Kings Silver Bullet, the murderous Were is a priest. Talk about low. Every one of the Were's I know would step down rather than risk offending God like that. Now a vampire maybe. They are pretty amoral, but Were's are the most upstanding group of folks I know. Of course they are all I know because I'm not allowed in large public places, judges orders."
"My point is that there is nothing glamorous about being a Were in reality or in Fiction, with maybe the exception of an odd sub genre of Japanese Were-Octopus Hentai. WHy would anyone wish them upon themselves. ANd then I read an ad like this and I have to ask myself. What's this world coming to?"
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7 comments:
Hey, go easy on the vampires. I'm dating one and know a bunch more. Most of them are good people, a lot like us weres, in fact. It's the ones who let the power go to their heads and start "siring" vampires to do their bidding that are the amoral ones.
You're right about that Craigs List ad, though. That kid needs some major help! Maybe one of us could contact him and try to get him the help he needs. Without biting him, I mean!
Did you get his number?
What? I'm out of work.
I never found a vampire that was worth a darn. There was this one manager that was so stuck on himself. He was a jerk to everyone. And to make his superiority even worse was his feminine tendancies. We all thought he was gay. It turned out he was a vampire.
I guess we just travel in different circles. I'm not going to get into an argument over whose experiences are more accurate.
And you know some of us are actively working to change the Hollywood stereotype of were-creatures! My girlfriend's brother is working on a script right now that will cast us in a better light.
We can all see how problematic our image is, but we need to stop dwelling on how bad it is and start trying to improve it!
*shuffling in, eyes downcast*
Hi, my name is ~indistinct mumble~ uh, Gene, I'm a were-bear.
*slowly sits in resignation*
Appreciate you kind folks providing me a place to sit outta the cold. Even if it's just a few hours. Don't get much hospitality lately, drifting. Guess that's just the way things work out (long pause) uh, yeah, that's just how the cookie - or my life - crumbles. *bitter sobs*
[It's ok]
Sorry, I wish I could pull myself together, but I just can't. *loud gulping cries with hot tears*
[Here's a kleenex]
*honk & wipe* Thanks. (looking down) I've ruined my marriage. My kids hate me. If I wasn't already fired, the guys at work would hate me. Hell, I hate me.
[You're not alone]
No, look, I'm sorry, I've already said more than I wanted to. Please, just let me sit here ok? I won't make any trouble, ok?
'At's all right, Gene, you take yer time an' sit a spell.
I ain't talked up yet, neither, so you ain't got nothin' ta worry 'bout.
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